My final thoughts on MWF seeking BFF are kind of a mixed bag.
It was entertaining to read this girl's journey because a) it's something I would never do and b) I already realize what it took her a whole year to figure out.
I wouldn't do this because I already know that adult friendships are made in a different way. They tend to be more organic. You can't go looking for one and meeting over dinner in a nice restaurant isn't the setting in which to show the real you.
Friendships are more complex as you grow older. Friends you have are often made over or because of your children. Making friends or keeping friends when you are a parent is a whole lot different than having that BFF.
Even if the author were to find a BFF it's guaranteed that that friendship will change, evolve or dissipate when her family grows to beyond her husband and herself.
That's not to say a BFF found when you are an adult won't be there and become what she calls, "a lifer." In my opinion, it can be unlikely.
My thought is that this woman spent a lot of money and time (that could have been dedicated to her new husband) pursuing something that in and of itself, was an immature quest. The reason I call it immature is because of her constant, "I want, I need" outlook on her life. This is why I think friendships can change, especially newer ones or ones gained as adults as opposed to friends you make when you're little and become lifers (because they're like family, no?), because once you have children it's not "I want, I need" anymore. It's not all about you.
And I think in the end she realized that you can't just search for and find in 52 designated friend dates what you are ultimately seeking...the BFF.
Of course, as one of our book club members so eloquently put it on our FB Fan Page when I complained about her wasting so much time and money on something so selfish...
If I were getting paid to write a book about it, I'd do it too.
Well said!
PS: The Rent-a-Friend was lame. I was game all the way through until that because it was unnecessary and completely weird.
What were your thoughts?? Don't forget to read Connie's take on it, too!
I just enjoyed how she put herself out there in new situations...I would not do that. I also realized that being a friend does take work on both parts. I need to work on being more proactive about scheduling stuff. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with that fellow commenter. If someone were going to pay me to do it, I would have also. But she was busy ALL THE TIME. Her dates made me tired. Good thing she didn't have kids. AND, I have to say that I was kind of offended that she didn't really want to meet people with children. WE ARE PEOPLE TOO, DAMN IT. But all in all, I liked her. It ended up being a pretty good book and one that wouldn't have been read before joining the club! =)
ReplyDeleteUm, I didn't read this book, because I'm grounded from reading (indefinitely), but I wanted to come say "hi"!
ReplyDeleteAlso, this chick sounds a little loopy. That is all.
Yes- moms with kids are awesome! And in all reality it is going to be those moms now that I end up becoming friends with.
ReplyDeleteSo what is next?
I thought she was particularly hard on the people with kids prejiduce. Although it's hilarious that one of the best people she met had twins. LOL
ReplyDelete